Gov. Rod Blagojevich has outstripped Sarah Palin as the nation's most laughable governor. Comedians see his absurd reported antics as pure gold. As with Gov. Palin, they don't even have to rework his words to get a rash of chuckles. So far, for comedians, political pundits and politicians alike, the only challenge Blago is presenting is whether to play him as stupid or crazy or both.
Christopher Rabb's Afro-netizen, one of the oldest black blogs around, is now contributing the running joke known as Illinois' governor. In its latest post, it claims to have FBI tapes of Blago wanting to cash in on the Barack Obama in more ways than just the vacant senate seat.
According to the blog, it a transcript of Blagojevich expressing his interests in muscling in on the Obama memorabilia craze by becoming the Victory Plate czar. Here's Rabb's full post, complete with the as-seen-on-TV Victory Plate YouTube video and what his blog claims is the FBI transcript of yet another Blago plot. I'm not sure if this is serious or a joke but, either way, it's definitely amusing.
An anonymous source has leaked to Afro-Netizen information from the FBI sting on embattled Illinois governor, Rod R. Blagojevich (D) that confirms the recently arrested governor sought to become Obama's "Victory Plate Czar", a position Blagojevich believed could be the dark-horse position in the incoming administration to revitalize the national economy currently mired in a historic recession.
Transcripts obtained by Afro-Netizen reveal that Blagojevich believed that in exchange for appointing whomever President-Elect Obama wanted for his vacated senate seat, the governor could secure what he was confident would be the most coveted Executive Branch position outside of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
According to a transcript of an exchange between Blagojevich and an unnamed advisor, the governor was caught exclaiming:
"This f@#ing black guy s#its gold bullion! And you're telling me he's not getting a f@#$ing taste?! Well, that's b@llsh*t. And if it's not, I'm definitely getting a f@*ing taste for sure. Those shut-ins, old f@#^ers, the blacks and f@#$in' hippies are all buyin' that commemorative sh@t like f@#*ing crazy. We get some of our boys to take over that Victory Plate biz, run it through some new b*llsh#t federal program, and nobody'll even know what's goin' on. Besides, Obama and those f#$*ers on Capitol Hill will be greeting us as liberators, throwing f@&#in' flowers at our feet when we f@#*in' save the Godd@mn economy with this f#$@in' plate stimulus idea! Now, back to rubbin' my feet, f#$*er -- and get out of the way of the TV. I'm tryin' to watch 'The Honeymooners' without your big f@#$in' melon in the way!"
When reached for comment on this unsuccessful scheme, Telebrands founder and infomercial king, AJ Khubani, whose company markets the Obama "victory plates" stated, "That's the most stupid f@*#in' idea I've ever heard. And trust me, if there's anyone who knows about stupid f@#*in' ideas, it's me."
Now we know that Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. is candidate #5 in the Gov. Rod Blagojevich alleged scheme to sell Barack Obama's vacant U.S. senate seat. The congressman says he is not a suspect and that he made no play to pay. We'll all know what's went down soon enough. Meanwhile, Rep. Jackson says the governor must go. So does President-elect Obama and that's the sentiment of scores of Illinois pols. Here's my observation on my state's golden governor. It was posted this morning on the ebonyjet.com website.
Blagojevich: The Sixth Sense now it all adds up December 10, 2008 By Monroe Anderson
In the wake of the arrest of Governor Rod Blagojevich, what has unfolded in Illinois is not unlike the surprise wrap-up in The Sixth Sense: Once the movie ended, everything that had gone before fell into place.
As late as November 9, CNN was reporting Barack Obama wanted his close
friend Valerie Jarrett appointed to his senate seat. It's easy to see
why. Jarrett is a wired-Chicago attorney and businesswoman who is one
of Michelle and Barack's closest friends. As the co-chair of the
transition team, she was the President-elect's first important African
American appointment.
But
Jarrett's selection to fill his senate seat was not Obama's to make. By
Illinois law, it's the governor's decision and his alone. And by
November 11, it was, at best, questionable whether she was
Blagojevich's candidate of choice. According to the transcript of a
Federal wiretapped conversation between the governor and his chief of
staff, John Harris, Blagojevich acknowledged that he knew that Obama
wanted Jarrett for the senate seat but "they're not willing to give me
anything except appreciation. F*** them."
The next day, Jarrett announced that she was not interested in the
senate seat and three days later, Obama announced that she would be a
senior White House adviser and assistant for intergovernmental
relations.
There were a number of other in-retrospect-moments before that.
For
the past four years, a double-digit number of associates of the
governor have been indicted and convicted and for the past two years,
rumors that he was under Federal investigation have been running
rampant. One of Blagojevich's pals was Tony Rezko, the political
fundraiser. If the name sounds familiar it's because it was first cited
by Hillary Clinton, and later by John McCain and Sarah Palin, to muddy
up Obama.
In June, Rezko was convicted of fraud, attempted
bribery and money laundering. During his criminal trial, prosecutor's
focused on Rezko's corrupting influence on the governor's
administration; Obama's name was tangentially mentioned. Sentencing for
Rezko was put off from October 28 until January 6, ripe with
speculation that he was cutting a deal to give up the gov.
The
Obama camp had long ago given up on Blagojevich, keeping him at arm's
length to assure that he didn't put their candidate in harm's way. The
Illinois governor was not invited to a unity meeting of Democratic
Party governors in June in his hometown at the Chicago Historical
Museum.
Blagojevich was the only Democratic governor who did not speak in July
in Denver at the Democratic National Convention. The Illinois governor
was also missing-in-action at Obama's victory rally last month in
Chicago's Grant Park.
Following Blagojevich's early morning bust, Patrick Fitzgerald, United
States attorney general for the Northern District of Illinois, held a
news conference to put it all in 20-20 hindsight.
Describing it as a "political corruption crime spree," Fitzgerald
detailed the charges of conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and
solicitation of bribery that led to the arrest of Blagojevich and
Harris. The alleged selling of Obama's vacant senate seat for a
promise from a yet unnamed candidate of raising a million dollars in
campaign funding will certainly have more political fallout. Among
other competitive contenders for Obama's U.S. senate seat are U.S.
representatives Jesse Jackson, Jr., Danny Davis and Luis Gutierrez.
Obama's political mentor, Emil Jones, the retiring president of the
Illinois state senate, has also expressed an interest in replacing
Obama in the nation's upper house.
Fitzgerald said that Blagojevich had threatened to not provide state
assistance in the selling of the Cubs and Wrigley Field, which is owned
by the Tribune Company, unless the owners replaced the newspaper's
editorial board members with journalists who would write nice things
about him as the governor. Blagojevich also allegedly sought kickbacks
in campaign contributions in exchange for an $8 million in state
funding for Chicago Memorial Children's Hospital.
There's more yet to come. Fitzgerald is appealing to those who know of
other transgressions by the governor to come forward. All they have to
say is "I see corrupt people." Monroe Anderson is an award-winning journalist who penned op-ed columns
for both the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Sun-Times. Check out his
blog at monroeanderson.typepad.com
A few days ago I got an emailfrom my friend Sandra
Jackson-Opuku, a Chicago novelist, pointing out that the blogosphere was all
ablaze about who should be the inaugural poet. Sandra said she is nominating
Chicago poet and attorney Ginger Mance.
"Ginger had a central role in protesting a
media decision to "black-out" Senator Obama's convention speech back
in 2004. She was also a campaign volunteer on his presidential campaign,"
Sandra wrote. "I'm impressed with both her tireless work on behalf of
Obama's candidacy in many of his political races, and the considerable poetic
talent demonstrated in "Awakened Sun," a praise poem written for
Obama on his election to US Senate."
I
gave Sandra suggestion some thought, then thought about other possible poets
who would speak to the times should Barack decide to have a bard at his
inaugural. I even checked out some of the suggestions out in cyberspace. After
thinking long and hard, and loving to be the contrarian commentator I sometimes
am, I chose William "Smokey" Robinson. My commentary was posted on ebonyjet.com this morning.
Obama's Inaugural Poet only one man is right for the job December 9, 2008 By Monroe Anderson
We should have known it was a bad sign when there was no poetry at George W. Bush’s swearing in as president in 2000 and again four years later. Bill Clinton, the smarter and more competent predecessor to Bush, had two. Maya Angelou read her poem, "On the Pulse of Morning," at Clinton's 1992 inaugural. Four years later, Arkansas poet Miller Williams read his verse, "Of History and Hope" at Clinton's second swearing in. Robert Frost, John F. Kennedy's inaugural poet, was the first.
On January 20, during the ceremony when he is sworn in as POTUS, Obama should have a national wordsmith step forward as the warm-up act. Someone to signal that we're trying something new before the soul-stirring words Obama will serve up during his acceptance speech to inspire a nation. Like Obama, that poet should be exceptional. Exceptional poets are out there. Names like Alice Walker, Amiri Baraka, Nikki Giovanni, Toni Morrison, poetry slam champion Patricia Smith and that great American songwriter who is one of Obama's favorite musicians, Bob Dylan.
All those poets are good but, in my opinion, not quite good enough. There's only one American poet great enough and big enough and beloved enough to share the stage with Barack Obama when he swears in next month. That man is the Poet Laureate of Soul—William "Smokey" Robinson.
Dylan has called Smokey "the greatest poet" of our times. Unlike Robert Frost, whose poem, "The Gift Outright," which was read at Kennedy's inaugural and turned out to be a white-privilege paean to the principles of Manifest Destiny, Smokey's poetry is an ode to the common man. His prose provides pragmatic inspiration to every American from Joe the Plumber to George the President.
Smokey has not only written about love won and love lost, but American employment and unemployment. The lyrics to "Got a Job" plaintively sums up the plight of having a minimum wage gig. His "Abraham Martin and John" lyrics were American social observation at its purest. And the lyrics to "Shop Around" are way better advice than Bush's post-911 edict that Americans be about the business of serious consumption to show the terrorists that they could not undermine our economy.
Like the Spoken Word poem, "A Black American," that he performed live on Def Poetry Jam, Smokey could do a new but similar verse that would educate the nation about its African roots and its diverse, multi-cultural future.
Or he could just sing his poetry. We know the man can sing what he writes. In the 50 years that he's been out there, Smokey boasts a song catalog of 4,000 tunes with 36 Top 10 hits.
Plus, with Smokey, there's a bunch of material Obama can draw from and expand on in his inaugural speech. He could take "Quiet Storm" and discuss the economic climate we're in right now. Or Smokey could sing an updated, make-it-plain version of "Who's Gonna Take the Blame" to remind us how Washington's old school politics propelled our nation to this moment of change. Or, Smokey could stick with the upbeat mood at Obama's inaugural with a "Goin’ to a Go-Go"-inspired rhyme reminding us that the good times are about to begin.
And, since George W. Bush didn't have a poet at his inauguration, Smokey's appearance could represent the transformation from chump to change. And as Bush is overcome with emotion watching Obama take his place, a few lines from "Tears of a Clown" should second that emotion.
Monroe Anderson is an award-winning journalist who penned op-ed columns for both the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Sun-Times. Check out his blog at monroeanderson.typepad.com
UPDATE: My friend, Dawoud Bey was right. As Bey predicted in the comments section on this blog,Elizabeth Alexander has been named the inaugural poet. Small wonder. She's Obama's buddy and yet one more of his Ivy League prof and/or alum selections. I still believe that Smokey would have been a better choice. Sure Alexander was a finalist for 2005 Pulitzer prize for poetry but Smokey is a 2006 Kennedy Center Honoree. That makes Alexander predictable while Smokey would have been the change we need.
Here's a YouTube video of Smokey's Def Poetry Jam performance.
I was there when the Blaxploitation craze hit the silver screen. Fresh out of college and living in Washington, D.C. I laughed through Cotton Comes to Harlem and cheered at the end of Sweet Sweetback's Badasssss Song when the movie promised that the pimp-turned-revolutionary be back taking names and collecting dues. Like many a young black man my age, I wanted to be Shaft, strutting through the black community with Isaac's Haye's lyrics, "who is the man who would risk his life for his brother man," playing in my head.
For the second time around, it was a first. Not since the 1920s and '30, when the pioneering black film director Oscar Michaeux shot more than 30 movies in Chicago, could we see black actors starring in black films about black people.
Then came Superfly, the dope dealer who dressed like a pimp and who surely inspired the cable TV show, Pimp My Ride. Superfly's ride was a Caddy with an oversized, customized chrome grill that soon had life imitating art. In no time flat, Harlem hustlers and Chi Town players were doing the gangster lean in their own deuce and a quarter. The big screen car that spawned the ones in the ghetto may have singlehandedly wrecked General Motors' rep as America's most prestigious ride and driven rich white Americans in droves to buy a Mercedes Benz.
With the exception of middle-age and older Jews, who harbored no fond feeling about German engineering, after Superfly, the only time white Americans who could afford them wanted to be caught in a Cadillac was when it was the hearst carrying their dead body.
But, in the hood, Superfly was a smash hit, helping to give birth to scores of other movies that exploited its black American audience. Before long, Hollywood was churning out one low-budget, stereotypical and formulaic movie after the next. Set in the ghetto with drug dealers, pimps and whores as the hero or heroine were always out to get "the man."
There was Trouble Man, where Marvin Gaye's theme song, like Curtis Mayfield's for Superfly, was far superior to the flick. There were the Rudy Ray Moore movies, Dolemite and The Human Tornado and the Pam Grier flicks, Coffy and Foxy Brown. Fred Williamson's Hammer, Black Caesar and Hell Up in Harlem were just three of more than a dozen blaxploitation films the former AFL star starred in.
Of course, that was back then and we are right now. If Black Dynamite has it's way, a blaxploitation flick will be playing next year in a cineplex near you. From it's trailer, the movie looks to be a satire on the '70s genre. Since the flicks of in that era quickly became a put-on of themselves, it's hard to tell if this parody will play in Richard Pryor's hometown, Peoria.
It's also hard to tell whether Black Dynamite is going to be as good as Undercover Brother or as awful as Soul Plane. The movie is due out next year. Here's the trailer now.
And this video may be a clue to how serious Black Dynamite actually is.
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