Monroe Anderson

Rod Blagojevich Superhero!

For pundits, comedians and Cable TV show hosts, Gov. Rod Blagojevich is the Energizer Bunny of comic material gift giving. His latest foray into the land of There-Is-No-Such-Thing-As-Bad-Publicity was yesterday at Chicago Comic Con in suburban Rosemont. During his appearance at the show--where he stood among grown men dressed as Superman and Batman while charging $80 if you wanted to be photographed with him and $50 if you merely wanted his autograph--Illinois’ second convicted-governor-in-a-row compared himself to a superhero.

Not being able to resist, this is what I posted on my Facebook Wall, giving my FB friends a chance to beat the punits, comedians and Cable TV show hosts to the punch.

Here was my commentary: Which Superhero would you liken Gov. Blagojevich to?

And this is how the thread was running at the time of this blog post:

 

Ej Murray-- How about Wonder Woman? He's got the hair.

15 hours ago · Like ·

Angela Ross-- Supermouth, a super hero whose mouth has sink many ships including his own.

15 hours ago · Like ·

Monroe Anderson-- ‎@Angela How about Superblabber?

15 hours ago · Like ·  2 people ·

Ej Murray--The man can not keep his mouth shut for one darn minute.

15 hours ago · Like ·

Phil Melcher--I'd kind of like to see him run into The Punisher...:)

15 hours ago · Like ·

Susan Mazzeri--Pete says the atom. he had a suit that when he put it on he shrunk real small.

15 hours ago · Like ·

Terry Senner Davis--The Joker b/c he's a joke?

15 hours ago · Like ·

Dana Camp-Farbe--George of the Jungle!!! If George is a superhero!!

14 hours ago · Like ·

L.b. King--@Monroe-"Superblabber"

14 hours ago · Like ·

Monroe Anderso--Oh, oh, I got it: Fuckinggoldman!

14 hours ago · Like ·

Brian Ray--The Eel, one slippery mofo.

10 hours ago · Like ·

Florence Tate--mighty mouse

10 hours ago · Like ·

Dick Kay--Have no fear... Underdog is here.

9 hours ago · Like ·

Christopher Lenz--10.Rasputina 9. Elmer Putz 8.Captain Nim-ROD 7. Lois Lame-Brain 6. The Boy Wonder-Woosy 5. The Green Hoarding-Maggot 4. Mister Schlock 3.The Un-Amazing (full of) Crap-man (!) aka Peter ("How's My Hair?") Peckerhead 2.The "Thing" 1. The Adventures of Rob and Rod: "The Wonder Twits"

8 hours ago · Like ·

Sam Greenle--Elmer Fudd!

2 hours ago · Like ·

Bruce Elliot--George Ryan.

about an hour ago · Like ·

Monroe Anderson--How about Mr. Magoo?

43 minutes ago · Like ·

Peter M. Fuller--Pathetic Pup

4 minutes ago · Like ·

Monroe Anderso--Crap Cat?

·

 

Blagojevich's ploy reveals Obama's seat is black

A chance meeting between a dull kitchen knife and my left hand as I prepared Christmas dinner turned into blood at first sight. So, I'm just now healed enough to be able to type with both hands. In other words, this is a lame excuse on why I haven't posted in three weeks. 

But now, I'm back. Here's a column I wrote for Ebonyjet.com about Gov. Rod Blagojevich's appointment of Roland Burris to Barack Obama's vacated senate seat. The selection may be as much about jury selection as it is about good governance.

Here's what I had to say.

Mr. Burris Goes To Washington


The appointment of Roland Burris to Obama's Senate seat is anything but a simple plan


January 6, 2009 


By Monroe Anderson

I missed the exact moment when Barack Obama's vacant U.S. Senate post became a blacks only seat.  No one sent me an email declaring it was ours. Nor did anyone hit up my cell or Facebook page. I didn't even get a tweet.

But, apparently, the seat that once belonged to the president-elect now commands exclusive dibs from black pols in Illinois, period.  No whites need apply. Asians or Hispanics shouldn't bother either.Rep. Bobby Rush said as much. During Gov. Rod Blagojevich's news conference last week announcing the appointment of Roland Burris to Obama's vacated seat, the Illinois congressman from Chicago emerged from the press pool to commandeer the mike. "Let me remind you that there presently is no African American in the Senate," Rush said, talking through the media to address state and national Democrats. "I would ask you not to hang or lynch the appointee as you try to castigate the appointer."And while the appointer kept asserting during the news conference that it was all about the appointee, I didn't quite buy it.I believe that it's about Burris as the black appointee as much as it is about the red herring to be introduced at the governor's jury trial.  Blagojevich hasn't been indicted yet, but the big money is betting that he will be come spring.  Anticipating the inevitable, the governor has hired Ed Genson, the high-priced super lawyer who got R. Kelly off, as his defense attorney.When the trial begins, the Burris appointment—if it plays out badly with the Democrats over the next couple of days—may play well in Blagojevich's defense. Think O.J.  If the Senate Dems have a fit, denying the one seat vacated by an African American to be filled by another, then any blacks on the jury may be sympathetic enough to the governor to vote to acquit him—striking another symbolic blow against institutional American racism.I know it sounds a little far-fetched but so does the idea that a governor would try to sell the U.S. Senate seat to the highest bidder.  But it also sounds far-fetched that in 21st-century America, blacks have no representation in the U.S. Senate, while there are 13 Jewish Americans, three Hispanics and two Asians.  It is also outlandish that in this time of change, Democratic leaders would ignore the law to play politics.Illinois State Democrats are in a mad rush to impeach their defiant governor and U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald is working overtime to indict him, but so far Blagojevich has not been proven guilty of anything but having a filthy mouth.  That means the governor is lawfully empowered to appoint Burris, who is untouched by any hint of corruption and unquestionably qualified to perform the duties of the post.Thirty years ago, Burris became state comptroller, the first black Democrat elected to statewide office in Illinois. After three terms in that office, he was elected the Illinois attorney general.  Since then, he's become a lovable loser. He has run three times for governor, and one time each for mayor and U.S. senator, each time coming up empty handed.That's why Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and the Dems are doing so much hand wringing.  Although he denies it, Reid has been reported as saying he did not want the seat to go to Representatives Jesse Jackson Jr., Danny Davis or state Senate President Emil Jones because he believes that none of the three black men could win the statewide election in 2010.If the Democrats insist on taking a bad situation and making it worse, it may be a moot point. Secretary of State Jesse White, the highest-ranking black official in Illinois right now, has refused to certify the Burris appointment.  The Democrats in the U.S. Senate insist that they won't seat Burris when he arrives at the chambers today.They may want to rethink that.  Rep. Rush, a former minister of the Black Panthers who is now a Baptist minister, Sunday night called the Senate "one of the last bastions of plantation and racial politics in America," then warned that the Senate Democrats who fight Burris' appointment are "going to ask for forgiveness" from the black American voter.Hmmmm. Come to think about it, that seat may need to be black after all.

Monroe Anderson is an award-winning journalist who penned op-ed columns for both the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Sun-Times. Check out his blog at monroeanderson.typepad.com  

Blagojevich's gold-plated greed

Gov. Rod Blagojevich has outstripped Sarah Palin as the nation's most laughable governor. Comedians see his absurd reported antics as pure gold. As with Gov. Palin, they don't even have to rework his words to get a rash of chuckles. So far, for comedians, political pundits and politicians alike, the only challenge Blago is presenting is whether to play him as stupid or crazy or both.

Christopher Rabb's Afro-netizen, one of the oldest black blogs around, is now contributing the running joke known as Illinois' governor. In its latest post, it claims to have FBI tapes of Blago wanting to cash in on the Barack Obama in more ways than just the vacant senate seat.

According to the blog, it a transcript of Blagojevich expressing his interests in muscling in on the Obama memorabilia craze by becoming the Victory Plate czar. Here's Rabb's full post, complete with the as-seen-on-TV Victory Plate YouTube video and what his blog claims is the FBI transcript of yet another Blago plot. I'm not sure if this is serious or a joke but, either way, it's definitely amusing.

FBI confirms Blagojevich sought 'Victory Plate Czar' cabinet post in Obama administration

An anonymous source has leaked to Afro-Netizen information from the FBI sting on embattled Illinois governor, Rod R. Blagojevich (D) that confirms the recently arrested governor sought to become Obama's "Victory Plate Czar", a position Blagojevich believed could be the dark-horse position in the incoming administration to revitalize the national economy currently mired in a historic recession.

Transcripts obtained by Afro-Netizen reveal that Blagojevich believed that in exchange for appointing whomever President-Elect Obama wanted for his vacated senate seat, the governor could secure what he was confident would be the most coveted Executive Branch position outside of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

According to a transcript of an exchange between Blagojevich and an unnamed advisor, the governor was caught exclaiming:

"This f@#ing black guy s#its gold bullion! And you're telling me he's not getting a f@#$ing taste?! Well, that's b@llsh*t. And if it's not, I'm definitely getting a f@*ing taste for sure. Those shut-ins, old f@#^ers, the blacks and f@#$in' hippies are all buyin' that commemorative sh@t like f@#*ing crazy. We get some of our boys to take over that Victory Plate biz, run it through some new b*llsh#t federal program, and nobody'll even know what's goin' on. Besides, Obama and those f#$*ers on Capitol Hill will be greeting us as liberators, throwing f@&#in' flowers at our feet when we f@#*in' save the Godd@mn economy with this f#$@in' plate stimulus idea! Now, back to rubbin' my feet, f#$*er -- and get out of the way of the TV. I'm tryin' to watch 'The Honeymooners' without your big f@#$in' melon in the way!"

When reached for comment on this unsuccessful scheme, Telebrands founder and infomercial king, AJ Khubani, whose company markets the Obama "victory plates" stated, "That's the most stupid f@*#in' idea I've ever heard. And trust me, if there's anyone who knows about stupid f@#*in' ideas, it's me."

Okay, it's a put-on.